Bittersweet

Everyone else we know has gone on vacation and is already starting school! But we are just now going on our summer vacation. Tomorrow! Well, practically tonight, since we have to get up at 2am and leave for the airport by 3:30am! Might as well pull an all-nighter, right? Dread.

I am not a good vacationer. I am one of those weirdo's that just can't relax when away. I worry about my pets. The dogs, mainly. I love my dogs like they are my children, and they love me unconditionally! Hayley & Madison are super attached to me and get separation anxiety! I feel sorry for them being left home all alone with no hugs & kisses! I keep telling myself that the main thing is that they are safe and (hopefully!!!!) healthy! Our longtime friend, Jeff, is going to pop in and check on them, feed, & walk them every night after work and hopefully even twice on the weekend. They will be fine. We've gone on vacation before and everyone has survived. Well, I take that back. :( Sydney got really sick and died in 2004 when we were in Newport Beach. :( So sad. I will never forgive myself for not being there with her!! But it all happened so fast that there was no time for me to fly back home. I was just looking into flights when the emergency vet called. I miss Sydney. Then there was the time that poor Chuckie had to have emergency surgery on his ear and wear a cone the whole time we were gone in Hawaii. My poor friend had to deal with all that, but he was fine. However, now he's really old and senile and I do worry that he's going to crawl off in to a corner and never wake up while we are gone. The other cats will be fine and I'm not too worried. They will miss us, and I will miss them.

So, we are going to Atlantis in the Bahamas! I got my very first passport! I've always thought Atlantis looked pretty cool, especially for little kids. But my kids are 13 & 19 and I'm sure they will still have an amazing time. This trip is costing us a small fortune and I've been having anxiety attacks about all the money we will be spending! Yikes. Not terribly happy with my current weight, either. But it won't be my fattest vacation....and it won't be my thinnest. Just somewhere in between. Who cares? I won't know anybody there. Thats what I keep telling myself, but on the inside I'm just not comfortable with my body. All the running, walking, tennis, yoga, weights, etc I've been doing wasn't enough. I make it sound more brutal than it actually is! lol I've played tennis & done yoga once in the past month. But I've been walking, running, riding my exercise bike, and doing weights and a few situps. Trying to eat right. I've managed to lose about 5 pounds. I was hoping for 10. I will continue the fight, even while on vacation. I have my trip to Montana coming up in just over a month, and then my birthday trip to Napa in 2 months. I just want to look good in my jeans for those trips! :)

We have a long day of travel tomorrow. 12 hours to be exact. Get up at 2am, say our sad goodbyes to the pets, leave at 3:30, flight leaves at 6am, arrives in Miami 2:40 their time (11:40 here). Then we have a 3 hour layover and finally arrive in Nassau at 6:40. At least that one is a short flight. I hate to fly! See? Bad vacationer! Ugh.

I am really just looking forward to getting there, taking a shower, eat, and sleep! Saturday night my husband splurged on front row tickets for us to see Jimmy Fallon live! Apparently he's doing a comedy show at Atlantis! So excited. Other than that, I will be laying out by the pool, working out every morning, eating and drinking like a queen! And I will be missing my dogs & cats every single minute of every single day and dreaming of going home.

I don't usually like to write so much personal stuff on this blog, but I don't think anyone reads this anyway. I'm hoping to rejuvenate my blog in upcoming months. Give it a makeover and post more often. But for today, I just needed to get my stress out on "paper". I feel better, but nervous about who might see this. Well, I better get busy and clean the house (why? I don't know...cuz I'm weird) and finish packing. I've started compiling stuff, but I still have to decide what makes the cut. I bought new, bigger suitcases but I'm not sure if I will use them...I want to try to pack light. I tend to over pack. Too much is better than not enough!

Til next time: Cheers!